I too am in the Chrysalis

Like the caterpillar, I too am in the chrysalis
What I once was is not gone
And what I will be is not quite formed

I am held together only by the delicate shell
Of what has been 
And what is yet to be

Swirling in this formless state
Disintegrated and liquified
Like water, I am flowing between 
Past and present
Fighting to be 
Here

The maiden I once was lingers still,
What I am becoming seems to lie 
just out of reach

At times it feels like I am spiraling
held together only
by the sunshine of my children's laughter,
the warmth of a baby at my breast,
the wide open eyes of little love

I am held by the hope of tomorrow...

Who is it that I can bear my heart to?
Who knows the weight of the world that I carry on my back? 

I come too close to letting it all pull me under 
And suddenly I am drowning in the darkness
Feeling too much,
And then feeling 
Nothing at all.

A voice
arises 
in 
the 
void

“Return to me, beloved”
“Through my body you may transcend”

Words of awakening cast the veil of illusion from my sight
Like a seed planted in the womb of the mother
I am pushing my way out into the light

G r o w i n g
Springing forth into new life

rebirth.

Ah at last!

my wings 
unfurl